I've been following the news about the upcoming vote on whether or not Scotland should leave the United Kingdom. Interesting stuff. But then I had a shocking realization: there is a Sinister Plan underlying the whole scheme, and I'm sounding the alarm to make sure everyone is aware of what's going on.
Follow the timeline:
1603: James VI of Scotland changes his last name to I and becomes King of England and Scotland.
1607: First successful British colony in the New World, named Jamestown after Mr. I.
1707: Act of Union turns England and Scotland into Great Britain.
1776: British colonies in the New World declare their independence from Great Britain, and after a bit of a dust-up with the Redcoats, form the United States of America.
Notice anything missing from that timeline? Let me spell it out: we never declared our independence from Scotland. This wasn't a problem as long as Scotland was safely tucked into the United Kingdom. But once they're loose again, what's the first thing the Scots are going to do? Try to reclaim America, that's what!
So we have to be ready. We have to be vigilant. Is it just a coincidence that the largest purveyor of fast food in America, with locations in every town and hamlet, has an obviously Scottish name? Is it just another convenient coincidence that the most popular brand of personal computer, handling all the private data and messages of millions of Americans, also has a suspiciously Scottish name?
I don't think so. Wake up, sheeple! Before the tartan-lined jackboot is on our necks!