Just The Caffeine Talking

Random Encounters: In the Wizard's House

It looks like a whimsical little cottage on the outside, but on the inside the Wizard's House is a bewildering maze of hallways, endless staircases, courtyards, and rooms of every size. The windows look out on a frightening variety of landscapes, some which cannot exist on Earth.

You're not the only ones exploring the Wizard's House. There are servants, guests, thieves, and the Wizard's own creations roaming the halls. Some are friendly, some are hostile — but none of them knows where the master has gone, or when he will return.

ENCOUNTERS IN THE WIZARD'S HOUSE

(Roll 1d10 if you're staying in one place, 1d20 when moving about the house.)

1. Roll Twice and Combine
2. Angel: An armored, winged warrior angel, hoping to ask the Wizard for the loan of a particular item or book.
3. Apprentice: A bumbling teenager, doing his best to act like a serious student of the magical arts. If any of the party are either a famous warrior or an attractive woman (or better yet, both) the apprentice will find excuses to hang around and make awkward conversation.*
4. Cat: A well-fed black cat with a single diamond on a gold chain around her neck.*
5. Demon: A dapper and polite former classmate of the Wizard at the Scholomance in Herrenstadt.
6. Invisible Servants: They may be invisible, but they sure make a racket, and pay no attention to anyone else as they sweep through the room, cleaning, dusting, putting things away (even if someone's trying to use something), shaking out rugs, and rearranging furniture.
7. Nosy Rival: Another highly-skilled magician, who claims to be just paying a social call on the Wizard, but is actually hoping to steal some of his sorcerous secrets.
8. Old One: A five-eyed, five-winged, tentacled creature from the hidden city at the South Pole, here to consult with the Wizard on an embarassing personal problem.
9. School of Fish: 2d10 large colorful fish swim through the room.
10. Thieves: 1d6 goblins disguised as maidservants. There's a 50 percent chance they're here to steal a particular item, and a 50 percent chance they're just looking for anything shiny.
11. Butler: A Fox-Spirit in human form, with impressive magical abilities of its own, the Butler tends to appear and disappear when you're not looking. Helpful but very busy.
12. Giant Eyeball: A huge eye, filling the room or passageway. It's obviously watching you. There's a 20 percent chance that the Giant Eyeball will take an interest in the party and follow them about.
13. Indoor Thunderstorm: This part of the house has thick black clouds hovering just under the ceiling, with lightning, high winds, and rain. Anyone passing through the storm has a 10 percent chance of getting hit by lightning, and a 100 percent chance of getting soaked.
14. Owl-Headed Bear: Nobody knows why, but every wizard seems to have one. This is a big, fierce specimen. It's trained not to attack guests or servants, but if the characters act like intruders it will try to eat them.
15. Permanent Houseguest: He came to visit many years ago and never left. The Wizard has long since forgotten about him, but he doesn't mind — he shows up for dinner, bores other guests with irrelevant stories, and knows where the good cigars are kept.
16. Tiger: It acts as if it knows where it's going and doesn't have time to stop to eat you.*
17. Trap: The Wizard has a strange sense of humor. This large room is actually his private swimming-pool, but he has cloaked it in an illusion to appear as an indoor croquet lawn. Anyone who steps onto the lawn discovers the trick, and gets very wet.
18. Uninvited Relative: She's a distant cousin of the Wizard and has come to demand that he do something about a family matter. If she can't find him, you'll do.
19. Window: This window looks out across a courtyard at an identical window, and you can see yourself looking back from the other side.
20. Tracks or Traces: Roll again to see what you just missed.

*Any encounter marked with an asterisk has a 10 percent chance of actually being the Wizard in disguise.

SITUATIONS

(Roll 1d6, then consult the table above to determine who A and B are.)

1. A desires B
2. A wants to capture B
3. A wants B dead
4. A wants to go somewhere
5. A wants to solve a mystery
6. A wants X

REACTION TABLE

(Roll 2d6 for each encounter, modified by any advantages or disadvantages the characters may have.)

2-3: Hostile — immediate attack or blatant social snub

4-5: Unfriendly — won't offer help and treats the party with great disdain

6-8: Neutral — normal reaction

9-10: Friendly — helpful and chatty

11-12: Very Friendly — won't shut up!

WorldCon Turns Eighty!

I'm not actually going to this year's World Science Fiction Convention in Dublin, and I only just discovered something interesting: the first WorldCon was held July 4 weekend in 1939, so this year represents the eightieth anniversary of WorldCons. Happy eightieth birthday!

Celebrating Independence Day

"I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated, by succeeding Generations, as the great anniversary Festival. It ought to be commemorated, as the Day of Deliverance by solemn Acts of Devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Shews, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more."

— John Adams

(Pedant alert: at the time he thought this anniversary would be July 2, but came around to appreciating July 4 by the end of his life.) 

Happy Independence Day!

Random Encounters: Neutral Istanbul

Turkey remained neutral during World War II, but Istanbul's strategic location made it a hub of espionage and intrigue. American, British, Russian, German, and Italian agents all spied on each other with varying success, and the Turkish Security Service spied on them all. Exiles and displaced persons sought refuge there, and crooks flocked to take advantage of them. And in the background the ancient city's life went on.

ENCOUNTERS IN NEUTRAL ISTANBUL

Roll 1d20 when moving about the city, 1d10 when stationary.

1. Roll twice and combine
2. Plot advancing encounter: Someone or something connected with the reason the player-characters are in Istanbul.
3. Allied Spies: Roll 1d6. 1: American OSS (well-funded "cowboys"), 2-3: British MI-6 (professional but stodgy), 4: French DGSE (underfunded but very professional), 5-6: Russian GRU (dedicated and ruthless).
4. Axis Spies: Roll 1d6. 1-2: German Abwehr (professional military intelligence); 3: German RSHA (SS intelligence, amateurish but fanatical); 4-5: Italian SIM (military intelligence, professional but underfunded); 6: Pro-Fascist Turkish group (amateurish).
5. Con Man: A Turkish or neutral foreign citizen, working some grift on refugees or foreign spies. May be involved in a spy plot without realizing it.
6. Displaced Person: Civilians from southeastern Europe who have fled to Istanbul to keep out of Nazi or Soviet hands. Some are rich, most are penniless, all are desperate to avoid deportation.
7. Goons: A gang of 2d6 local tough guys with knives and clubs sent to beat up the player-characters. Roll 1d6 to see who sent them. 1: Allied intelligence (see above); 2: Axis intelligence (see above); 3: Local crime boss; 4: Mistaken identity (roll again to see who they think they're attacking); 5: Turkish intelligence or police; 6: Turkish nationalist group.
8. Imam: A Turkish Muslim religious scholar, with access to lots of old Arabic and Greek manuscripts.
9. Turkish National Police: Turkish police, trying to show they're as good at catching foreign spies as their National Security Service rivals. These are uniformed city cops, equipped like French gendarmes with billy clubs and weighted capes.
10. Turkish National Security Service: Turkish military intelligence agents, highly skilled and professional. They are desperately trying to keep Turkey neutral and avoid provoking military action by either side. They're plain-clothes agents armed with pistols.
11. Ambush: 2d6 Goons (see above) are waiting to jump the player-characters in a dark alley.
12. Baron Sebottendorff: The German occultist who founded the Thule Society — which in turn spun off a political group called the Nazis. He's either a fraud, a crackpot, or the secret magical mastermind behind the war. He lives at the Pera Palace Hotel and gets lots of visitors.
13. Coffeehouse: Coffeehouses are the center of social and political life in Istanbul. Characters can find out the latest news — and the gossip that the Turkish government won't let the papers print. With proper "social engineering" skills and a little hard currency, you can find out just about anything here.
14. Helpful Taxi Driver: His name's Ohannes, an Armenian whose family have been in Istanbul for generations. Ohannes knows the city better than anyone, can sell passengers a variety of useful items for a small fee, and is professionally discreet. He prefers to be paid in gold.
15. Pickpocket: A wiry street urchin or a bland-looking bystander, but he or she is after your wallet. May have a specific thing to steal, or may be simply looking for cash.
16. Pursuit! Someone's after you — Goons, enemy agents, crooks, or the police. Move!
17. Riot! The economic disruptions brought by the war have left a lot of Turks struggling to get by. Nazis and Communists have been funnelling money to political factions which support their ideologies. The result is a political tinder-box ready to flare up. There's an angry crowd in the street, and foreigners are always a good target.
18. Safe House: Your side maintains an apartment nearby, stocked with a first-aid kit, some Turkish cash, and a change of clothing. It's a place to regroup and recover.
19. Smuggler: Legitimate trade may have dried up due to the war, but smuggling is booming. Smugglers move contraband in and out of the occupied Greek islands, meet up with Russians on the Black Sea, and even range as far as Syria and Lebanon. They move cigarettes, liquor, opium, caviar, furs, guns, refugees — and spies. They're pretty ruthless people, loyal only to the rest of the gang.
20. Tracks: Roll again to see what you find traces of.

SITUATIONS IN NEUTRAL ISTANBUL

Roll 1d6 to see what's going on, and use the above table to see who's involved.

1. A desires B
2. A wants to capture B
3. A wants B dead
4. A wants to go somewhere
5. A wants to solve a mystery
6. A wants X

A Matter of Principle

Waldo's momentum is 34,974 kilogram-meters per second.

Now you'll never find him.

Random Encounters: A New Star System

You've just emerged from hyperspace, or shut off the Alcubierre drive, or switched on the plasma sail to slow down from relativistic speed. You're here, in a new star system, and it's time to look around. Long-range telescopes have already showed you all the major planets, but you still have to chart moons, asteroids, and comets. You'll also want to check out surface conditions on all the solid planets and moons. But yours might not be the only ship in the system . . .  

ENCOUNTERS IN A NEW STAR SYSTEM

Roll d10 while your spacecraft is in orbit around a planet or moon; roll d20 when it arrives at a new body. Then check the Reaction Table and roll for Situations below.

1. Roll twice and Combine
2. Alien Explorer: Another interstellar craft is surveying the system, and it's not from Earth. Roll 1d6. 1: Alien colony ship here to claim the system; 2-3: Known alien civilization; 4: Native civilization's first interplanetary probe; 5: Unknown aliens; 6: Von Neumann probe building copies of itself to launch at other stars.
3. Automated Defense System: A robot spacecraft armed with missiles launches from a hidden site inside the nearest world and attacks! (Reaction is automatically Hostile.)
4. Cryptic Transmission: A tight-beam transmission obviously meant for your ship in particular, coming from the nearest world. But it's in no language or code you recognize.
5. Enigmatic Warship: A powerful-looking military spacecraft approaches. Roll 1d6 to determine its affiliation. 1: Derelict on eccentric orbit; 2: Friendly aliens (+1 Reaction); 3: Hostile aliens (-2 Reaction); 4: Hostile human faction (-1 Reaction); 5: Player-characters' faction (+2 Reaction); 6: Unknown origin.
6. Mining Robots: 1d10 automated mining spacecraft, single-mindedly trying to refine every asteroid they encounter into neat spheres of metal, ice, or pure carbon. Your ship looks like a rich deposit. (Reaction is automatically Hostile.)
7. Mission-Relevant Encounter: Something related to the reason you were sent to this star system. A habitable world, traces of those droids you're searching for, or the Lost MacGuffin.
8. Scout Ship: Another exploration ship, possibly from a rival organization.
9. Space Pirates: An armed spacecraft crewed by desperate renegades. If your ship looks weaker, the Reaction roll is at -2; if you look substantially more powerful, they claim to be peaceful asteroid prospectors.
10. Stellar Flare! The local star is acting up. Communications will be impossible for 1d4 hours, and small craft should return to the hangar or seek shelter from radiation.
11. Ambush! Pirates or hostiles have been lying in wait for you, using passive sensor relays to watch while concealing their ships. Now they strike! (Automatically Hostile.)
12. Ancient Megastructure: A giant artificial structure, thousands or millions of years old. Its purpose may be obvious or completely mysterious. Use the Reaction Table to determine how dangerous it is: a Friendly result means it's safe, Unfriendly means it contains hazards, and Hostile means it actively repels intruders.
13. Debris Field: This world or moon is surrounded by a belt of hazardous debris. There's a 10 percent chance per hour of an impact big enough to damage the ship.
14. Emergency Cache: Some helpful person left a supply container in orbit, with oxygen, power plant fuel, medical equipment, and spare parts. Note that the cache builders may not have been human.
15. Hacking Buoy: A small capsule transmitting a simple beacon. But if spacecraft get within a few hundred meters, the buoy begins a very sophisticated electronic attack aimed at taking control of the ship's systems.
16. Lone Astronaut: A human in a space suit is adrift in orbit, calling for help. When rescued, he won't say how he got there and seems to know far too much about your ship and your mission.
17. Scavengers: A small patched-up ship of asteroid prospectors and debris salvagers. They've been here a while and know about two of the system's other hazards or mysteries.
18. Secret Base: Someone got here first and established a base, hidden by rock and ice from all but the closest scans. Roll 1d6 to see whose base it is. 1: Hostile aliens; 2: Military outpost; 3: Peaceful observers; 4: Pirates; 5: Rebels; 6: Secret laboratory.
19. Secretive Expedition: A large scout or converted merchant ship supporting an expedition to this world or moon. They won't say what they're looking for. (Reaction penalty of -2, but won't attack.)
20. Trader: A merchant ship, with minimal armament. Roll 1d6 to see why it's here. 1: Collecting valuable resource; 2: Damaged and in need of assistance; 3: Hired to deliver something; 4: Lost; 5: Running from pirates; 6: Smuggling.

REACTION TABLE

Roll 2d6 and apply any modifiers from the encounter table.

2: Hostile— attacks immediately or begins covert hostile actions.

3-5: Unfriendly— demands surrender, makes threats, and will follow them up.

6-8: Neutral— takes no hostile action but offers no aid, either.

9-11: Friendly— willing to talk or trade, will offer aid in life-or-death situations.

12: Very Friendly— volunteers aid and supplies, freely exchange information, may suggest joining forces.

SITUATIONS

Roll 1d6 for each encounter to see what their goals are.

1. A desires B
2. A wants to capture B
3. A wants B dead
4. A wants to go somewhere
5. A wants to solve a mystery
6. A wants X

 

 

Culinary/Literary Notes

I can usually eat something without telling the world about it, but tonight I made a grilled marinated Porterhouse steak with an heirloom tomato salad, followed by fresh-picked ripe strawberries and ice cream. All served up on the porch on a perfect evening.

But that's not what I actually intended to post about today. Lately I've been reading Dumas on Food, an English translation/abridgement of Alexander Dumas's Grand Dictionaire de Cuisine.

The entry on "Cavaillon Melon" includes the following passage, which I commend to all my fellow authors:

"One day I received a letter from the municipal council of Cavaillon which informed me that they were establishing a library and were desirous of securing for it the best books which they possibly could. They therefore begged me to send them those two or three of my novels which to my mind were the best. Now, I have a daughter and a son, whom I think I love equally; and I am the author of five or six hundred volumes and belive myself to be just about equally fond of them all. So I replied to the town of Cavaillon that it was not for an author to judge the merits of his books, that I thought all my books good, but that I found Cavaillon melons excellent; and that I consequently proposed to send to the town of Cavaillon a complete set of my works . . . if the municipal council would be willing to vote me a life annuity of twelve green melons."

"The municipal council of Cavaillon . . . replied by return of post that my request had been unanimously endorsed, and that I would certainly receive my life annuity, which in all likelihood is the only one that I will ever have."

While I don't have an oeuvre of six hundred volumes, and so probably can't parlay a set of my books into a lifetime supply of anything, I think I could manage a one-to-one swap. If you like science fiction or roleplaying games, and have a Zamponi sausage or some chanterelles, contact me.

Antagonists and Villains

In both fiction and roleplaying games, there's a distinction between a character (or NPC) who is a villain, and one who is an antagonist.

The villain is evil, or at least selfish and callous. Not only do his (or her) goals oppose those of the heroes, his character is morally inferior. Even if he believes he is serving some lofty goal, he's willing to let the ends justify the means. A villain may be monstrous, or charming, or sinister, or deceptive, but he's the "bad guy."

The antagonist isn't evil, at least not consciously. Lieutenant Gerard in The Fugitive is a perfect example. He's hunting a dangerous escaped murderer, and is determined to bring him in. It's a noble and worthy goal, and he displays courage, competence, and integrity as he pursues our wrongly-convicted hero.  

Naturally, an antagonist is the most likely to reverse himself upon learning the truth. If he doesn't, he slides over into being a cruel fanatic like Inspector Javert from Les Miserables, who is a villain. Or, if it's a tragedy, the antagonist may learn his error and repent too late.

Antagonists are often praised as being "realistic," since we're constantly assured that in the real world everyone considers himself a good person. Whereas villains are disparaged as being unrealistic comic-book characters.

That's false, by the way. There are indeed people in the world who are consciously wicked. I recall running across an interview with a mid-level Mafia "soldier" in which he mentioned how much he liked to go out on spending sprees with his girlfriend using a stolen credit card. The Mafioso was making thousands off of his various rackets already, but the knowledge that some "sucker" was paying the bill for his entertainment made it that much more enjoyable.

It's also a fact is that many people will do wrong if they think they can get away with it. Think about most theft, or robbery. Think about actual premeditated murder. There's no doubt in the robber's mind that robbery is wrong. Killers know killing is wrong. They just don't expect to get caught.

And of course there are people who are so callous or incapable of empathy that it simply doesn't matter to them if their actions are harmful. Actual psychopaths have that problem — and they may make up as much as one percent of the population.

I'm not trying to paint a grim picture of humanity. It's noteworthy that crime has been declining continuously during most of my lifetime. (I'm not saying there's a connection, but you're welcome.) Some of that is due to better deterrence — fewer people think they can get away with wrongdoing, so they don't do it. And maybe some of it is due to improvements in empathy and moral sense. I don't know if there's been any research on that. (One colleague of mine attributes the decline in lawbreaking to the increase in obesity over the same period: would-be crooks are just getting too fat to commit crimes.)

What this does mean is that writers shouldn't be ashamed to have real villains in their stories. It's still a good idea to make the villains three-dimensional, with realistic desires and maybe some redeeming qualities. But in the end, good and evil are real, and one reason people have been telling stories for half a million years is to remind ourselves that good can win.

Arkad's World Review From Locus

The new Sage of Providence, Paul Di Filippo, wrote a very kind and perceptive review of Arkad's World. Somehow I missed it when it came out back in February, but he recently put it up on Facebook. You can read the full review here.

Then you can go buy the book.

Random Encounters: In the Wizard War

When the great wizards go to war, even Kings run and hide. In this D20-inspired fantasy setting, two factions of wizards have moved from rivalry to outright warfare. Everybody thought it would end quickly, but of course it has dragged on, drawing in new allies as blazing anger turns to implacable hate. Cities, kingdoms, and castles all over the world lie in ruins, and dangers multiply as the wizards become more reckless in their spells and summonings.

ENCOUNTERS DURING THE WIZARD WAR

Roll d20 when moving, d10 when stationary.

1. Roll twice and combine.
2. Brain-Eater: A tentacled humanoid from another plane of existence, with psychic and magical powers. It's taking advantage of the magical struggle to conduct some operation of its own.
3. Demon: A mighty demon accompanied by lesser servitors. It is bound to obey the wizard who summoned it, but it has its own desires and grudges.
4. Injured Celestial: A powerful angelic being, horribly wounded.
5. Looters: A band of 2d4 thieves and warriors (i.e., just like the player-characters) looking for abandoned magical items or anything else of value. They're suspicious of potential competition.
6. Mercenaries: 2d8 hardened soldiers. Roll 1d6 to determine their allegiance. (1-2: Same faction as the player-characters; 3-4: Enemy faction; 5: Deserters turned bandit; 6: Serving nearest temple.)
7. Swarm of Giant Fiendish Scorpions: 2d6 Scorpions the size of dogs, their eyes glowing with demonic light. They'll attack anything.
8. Unseasonable Weather: Magical weather control has been playing hob with the climate. This is a blizzard in summer, or a tornado in winter, or maybe a tropical storm far inland. The bad weather lasts 2d6 hours but the effects may linger for days.
9. Wizard: A powerful magician, with mortal troops and supernatural guardians. Roll 1d6 to determine the wizard's allegiance. (1-2: Same faction as the player-characters, and will likely assign them a mission; 3-4: Opposed faction, will interrogate or enslave them; 5: Rogue Wizard, loyal to nobody; 6: Mad Wizard.)
10. Zombies: 2d6 zombies, once part of an undead army but now just hunting for living food.
11. Altered Time: An area about 1d100 yards across has come unstuck in time. Anyone entering experiences only a few minutes in the zone while outside much more time passes. Roll 1d6 to see how much time goes by. (1-2: 1d6 hours; 3: 1d6 days; 4: 1d6 weeks; 5: 1d6 months; 6: 1d6 years.)
12. Ambush: 1d6 minor demons using illusions to appear as helpless refugees.
13. Goblin Camp: 1d6 times 10 goblins are camped here. They are poorly supplied and have only basic weapons. Roll 1d6 for their allegiance. (1-2: Same faction as the player-characters; 3-4: Enemy faction; 5: Deserters turned bandit; 6: Serving the Brain-Eaters.)
14. Hunting Dragon: A young but hungry dragon, sent after the party by some enemy or other.
15. Magical Trap: A magical glyph which imposes a geas on whoever sees it. Roll 1d6 for the nature of the geas. (1: Guard this location with your life for a year and a day; 2: Kill! 3: Leave this spot and never return; 4: Seek out and slay a specific person; 5: Serve a specific person for a year and a day; 6: Shed no blood for a year.)
16. Pure Chaos: A zone of primordial Chaos 1d100 yards across. The effects of magic in the zone are massively amplified, but there is a 10 percent chance that any spell will fail spectacularly.
17. Ruined Castle: Something utterly devastated this castle, leaving a ruin filled with monsters, hazards, and loot. Gee, what to do . . .
18. Temple Complex: An island of security in a world gone mad. The temple priests have defended their citadel with the power of the gods, and it's packed with refugees. Travelers can get shelter, basic food and water, and a safe place to sleep — but warriors may be asked to help guard the walls, and users of magic get a very negative reaction.
19. Tracks or Signs: Either the tracks of one of the encounters above, or an actual signpost. Roll again to see what is indicated.
20. Wake of an army: An army passed through recently. Following the trail of the force means the party won't encounter any monsters, but all the food and portable wealth has been taken.

SITUATIONS IN THE WIZARD WAR

Roll 1d6 for each encounter above to determine motivations.

1. A desires B
2. A wants to capture B
3. A wants B dead
4. A wants to go somewhere
5. A wants to solve a mystery
6. A wants X