The Grand Tour of Oz concludes with a visit to the two "Defensive Settlements" of Oz. These are the towns inhabited by the Flutterbudgets and the Rigamaroles, respectively.
Flutterbudgets are the easily-panicked people of Oz, who go into fits of terror worrying about everything bad which might happen. Their neighbors the Rigamaroles are calmer, but no less annoying.
Rigamaroles tend to manifest a form of verbal communication which, while entirely and completely in keeping with the universally accepted and, indeed, praised principles of English grammar, nevertheless strays from what are generally regarded, at least among the more linguistically skilled elements of society, as the twin virtues of succinctness, which is to say the avoidance of unnecessary, repetitive and extraneous verbiage, and directness, or the eschewing of digression, confusion, and excessive ornament, in everyday expression.
In other words, they talk too much.
Our heroes are extremely glad to get away from those two towns, and with relief arrive at the tin castle of Nick Chopper, Emperor of the Winkies (aka The Tin Woodman). He proudly shows off his gardens, with a bed of tin flowers and a fishpond inhabited by tin fish.
The Tin Woodman has some bad news for Dorothy, though. He has had word from Ozma about the Nome King's plot. The tunnel is nearly ready, but Ozma refuses to organize any form of defense against the invaders. She believes the people of Oz can't stop their powerful foes, so instead she's going to make like Gandhi and practice peaceful resistance. The loyal Tin Woodman is heading for the Emerald City in the morning to perish alongside his beloved Girl Ruler.
Now here is where Baum has to make all of his characters a bit stupid. Dorothy actually remembers the Magic Belt, but instead of using it to wish the tunnel closed again, or wish the Nome King and his evil allies transformed into bacteria or whatever, she only thinks of using it to evacuate her friends and family to Kansas. (Not even the reliably ruthless Wizard of Oz thinks of using the Belt to stop the invasion.)
But nobody wants to go back to Kansas. Enslavement by sadistic monsters or death is still better than Kansas. Did Kansas run over L. Frank Baum's dog or something?
They do stop off at the Scarecrow's magnificent new house, built in the shape of a gigantic ear of corn standing proudly erect. The walls inside are decorated with crows made of black diamonds.
With one more stop to collect Jack Pumpkinhead, the travelers make a swift return to the Emerald City. Ozma is there waiting for them, suicidally calm and completely unwilling to do anything to protect her country. Her Magic Picture shows her that the tunnel is finished, and only a thin crust of earth separates the Nome King's Axis of Evil from the heart of Oz itself. The actual exit point of the tunnel is in the Royal Gardens, just in front of the Forbidden Fountain. (Pay attention to the fountain.)
Using the Magic Picture, our heroes observe Roquat and his allies planning their assault. They will leave the Nome Kingdom at midnight, and arrive in Oz at daybreak. Which means, by the way, that Oz is only about thirty miles across. We know that the Emerald City is in the center of Oz. An army of tens of thousands of Nomes, Growleywogs, Whimsies, and Phanfasms can't go much faster than 3 miles per hour, therefore it's only 18 or 20 miles from the Nome King's realm to the Emerald City. Assume at least 2 miles for the Deadly Desert, and a mile from the Desert to the Nome King's headquarters. That leaves 15 miles from the edge of Oz to the center.
In other words, you should be able to see the Emerald City from just about any place in Oz.
I don't buy it. In The Wonderful Wizard of Oz it took Dorothy several days to walk from the center of Munchkin territory to the city. Even allowing for the fact that she was a little child at the time and there were stretches of wilderness to get past, this still seems way too small. There just isn't room for all the wacky wayside tribes, randomly hostile freaks, deserted wilderness areas, and peaceful villages in a country no bigger than Rhode Island. Either the Nome King's army can march much faster than mortal soldiers can, or the Royal Historian of Oz wasn't thinking when he wrote that line.
The Phanfasms demand the right to be the first wave of attackers out of the tunnel. The First and Foremost boasts that Oz will be a desert wilderness when his malevolent Erbs get through with it.
Ozma really is too peaceful to fight. She won't harm another living thing, and she won't let anyone else do so either . . . except, of course, for the invaders. This is beyond any practical pacifism, it's suicide. A Girl Ruler should at least try to help her people escape these monstrous invaders. Ozma is definitely not doing her duty here. The people of Oz should offer Jinjur the throne again. She'd go down fighting, at least.
Dorothy is curious about one thing: what is the Forbidden Fountain, anyway?
Ozma explains that it's yet another work of Glinda the Good. She made it when a previous ruler of Oz was cruel and wicked. The water of the Fountain erases all memories. So the evil king of Oz drank it, forgot everything, and settled down to rule much more benevolently. His people were still mistrustful, so the King made everyone drink the water to forget his previous harsh regime.
That's right: Glinda the Good erased the minds of everyone in Oz. (Which means, of course, that only Glinda actually knows how things were before the mass brainwipe. Was that ruler really wicked and cruel? Or just . . . uncooperative?)
The Scarecrow has a brilliant idea, but won't tell anyone but Ozma. I guess he wants his friends to remain terrified and miserable as long as possible. We'll find out his plan next time.
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