I recently got back from a trip, and of course there were lots of mundane errands to run as soon as I got home. The usual stuff -- buying things, dropping kids off, mailing things, banking, all the business of middle-class life. But I found myself experiencing a sort of psychic jet-lag, as though my mind was still on vacation, viewing my mundane errands as some new form of tourism.
The feeling passed, but it made me think. Would it be so bad to go through life as a perpetual tourist? We always love to mock tourists -- when we're tourists ourselves we search up and down for places to go which aren't "touristy," even though our very presence alters that state. It's easy to make fun of tourists with their funny clothes, their cluelessness about how we do things around here, their accents, and their air of entitlement. I grew up in a tourist-destination city. I know how irritating they can be. Getting stuck behind a tour bus when you're in a hurry to get somewhere is a sure way to crank up one's xenophobia to Tokugawa levels.
Now that I've established my credentials as one of the Cool People Who Hate Tourists, I'm going to write in their defense. I think tourists have the right attitude, and are worth emulating. Let's look at some of their virtues:
• Tourists Don't Waste Time: When you're on vacation, there's always the sense that the meter is running. There's so much to do and see, and only a few days to fit all of it in! Even if your goal on the vacation is relaxation, or savoring the atmosphere of quaint villages, you've got to budget your time. "Okay this afternoon we'll hang out on the beach, and then tomorrow we'll go to the museum and the Cathedral." This means that tourists aren't sitting in the hotel room doing Sudoku puzzles or watching television. When every minute is costing you money (my last trip came in at about 20 cents per minute, not counting meals) you don't want to fritter them away. Even idleness has to be quality idleness.
• Tourists Think Everything Is Charming: Who hasn't seen travelers raving about the most mundane things in other countries? My wife and I have a ball visiting grocery stores abroad -- not specialty shops but ordinary supermarkets. It's fascinating to see what standard items back home are missing, and what rarities are ordinary groceries. So why not bring that attitude to your hometown? I'm writing this in Greenfield, looking out on the tiny Town Common and the church beyond. Instead of seeing a glorified traffic island and a building in need of repair, I can see them as a tiny spot of much-needed greenery in the heart of town, and a charmingly dilapidated old structure. It makes Greenfield a lot easier to take.
• Tourists Seek Out the Best: This goes along with not wasting time. When you have to save time and money, you want the best you can get. Tourists try to find the most interesting museums, the best restaurants, the most charming villages, the prettiest beaches, and so on. So why do natives settle for lesser atractions? If your town has a legendary pizza parlor or a particularly good playground, make use of them!
• Tourists Document Everything: We mock tourists for obsessively photographing everything they see. Just two weeks ago I watched a Japanese gentleman taking a picture of the floor in the Frankfurt airport. I myself write pages and pages in my journal while I'm traveling, describing all the places I visit, the meals I eat, and my impressions. Whereas at home, weeks can go by with nothing but a few "to do" lists. Why not try to remember at least one thing from each day? And if your life is that un-memorable, why not try to do something worth remembering?
• Tourists Dress Funny: Okay, don't do that. Have some self-respect. Seriously. Put away the cargo shorts.
• Tourists See the Sights: It's almost a cliche that people never visit the best-known attractions where they live. There are New Yorkers who've seen the Taj Mahal and the Sydney Opera House but have never gone to the top of the Empire State Building. I'm as guilty of this as anyone: I've lived in Massachusetts for more than a decade but I've never been to Cape Cod. This is particularly odd in an age when people move around a lot. There really are things you haven't seen, and you don't have infinite time to see them. Why wait?
• Tourists Try to Befriend the Natives: One of the annoying traits of tourists is how they assume everyone is going to want to talk to them. And yet, isn't that kind of outgoing self-assurance the definition of charisma? Why don't people strike up conversations with the folks at home? There's no language barrier, and you have a reasonable chance of seeing them again.
If you live life as a perpetual tourist, the vacation never ends.
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