I write science fiction. I'm a huge astronomy buff, and a fan of all things space-related. I'm theoretically in the middle of writing a series about designing alien planets and extraterrestrial civilizations.
So now that the United States Congress is holding hearings on whether there are alien spacecraft visiting the Earth, and whether the armed forces are holding samples of alien life or technology, I should be really excited, right?
Nope.
I don't buy it, just as I don't buy any of the claims of alien contact or sightings of alien spacecraft. Why not?
They aren't weird enough.
I can believe — I do believe — that there are other technological civilizations in the Milky Way, possibly more advanced than our own. I find it perfectly reasonable to think they would be able to cross interstellar distances. It might be difficult and costly, but a sufficiently wealthy and advanced civilization, with enough patience, could do it.
What can't I believe, then? Three things.
First, I can't believe that space travelers capable of crossing interstellar distances would keep crashing into patches of desert on Earth. The reported behavior of UFOs, or UAPs, or whatever we're calling flying saucers this week, doesn't match any rational goal. They aren't landing and gathering samples, they aren't deploying insect-sized probes, they aren't watching from high orbit. Instead they're flying around like World War II artillery spotter planes, and crashing like, well, World War II artillery spotter planes. I don't buy it.
Second, I can't believe that any alien beings, or "non-human biologicals" or EBEs, or whatever we're calling little green men this week, would be remotely humanoid. Every report I see of bipeds with two arms and a head on top with two eyes above a horizontal mouth makes me roll my own eyes and snort in irritation. Those are humans, not aliens. I long for a contact report about giant lobster creatures, or furry serpentine beings, or anything that isn't a stunt man in a rubber suit. Until I hear something like that, I'm not buying it.
Finally, I can't really believe that any modern technology is reverse-engineered from alien science. Tell me: which tech is alien? The Raptor rocket engine? The Fujitzu A64FX computer processor? The Moderna COVID-19 vaccine? I can't think of any current technology which isn't obviously a development from earlier machines or verifiable discoveries. If General Dynamics suddenly announced they could build cold-fusion generators, or Raytheon started marketing anti-gravity devices, then I could entertain the idea that these come from alien technology. But those things don't exist. I don't buy it.
Perhaps I'll be proven wrong. Maybe Congress will order the Air Force to unveil the aliens they've been hiding in the attic since 1946. Maybe those aliens really do look like big-headed humanoids with skinny arms. Maybe we have reverse-engineered faster-than-light drives. If I'm wrong I'll be ecstatic. Interstellar travel is possible! Alien intelligence exists! Wonderful!
But for now . . . I don't buy it.
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