Just The Caffeine Talking

Random Encounters: At Scintillation

You've wandered into the amazing Holiday Inn Centre-Ville in Montreal, but there's some kind of odd event going on. Over the course of the weekend roll 1d20 every hour during the day to see who or what you encounter.

1. Roll Twice and Combine
2. Plot-Advancing Encounter: Someone or something related to whatever brought you to Montreal in the first place.
3. Dim Sum Lunch: 3d20 people eating Dim Sum at one of the many restaurants in Montreal's Chinatown.
4. Koi Pond: A large pond occupies the center of the hotel lobby, crossed by 1d6 bridges. The pond houses large goldfish — what makes them so big?
5. Tour Group: A band of 2d6 people setting out to explore Montreal's Old Port area.
6. Jo Walton: Award-winning fantasy writer and organizer of the Scintillation convention. Her motives for doing so are a secret. There is a 50 percent chance she is reading a poem or story aloud when encountered.
7. Bookseller: A stall selling books by writers at the convention. There is a 25 percent chance of finding the book you're looking for.
8. Scientists! 1d6 scientists answering questions from audience members. At least one scientist is Diane A. Kelly.
9. Hotel Bar: Overlooking the Koi Pond, it has decent Dim Sum and slightly pricey drinks. Roll again on the table to see who is having a drink.
10. Game Session: An original Call of Cthulhu scenario run by a tall balding man. There are 1d6-5 people playing.
11. Max Gladstone: Fantasy author and occasional fencer; can be bribed to join in any skullduggery.
12. Fran Wilde: Fantasy writer and artist. There is a 50 percent chance she is accompanied by an invisible flying giant squid.
13. Rich Horton: Editor and reviewer with a large beard. There is a 25 percent chance that it is his birthday.
14. Editors! 1d6 Tor Books editors armed with cake knives.
15. Ada Palmer: University of Chicago historian and science fiction novelist, equipped with a robot flying car.
16. Reading: 1d6 authors reading fiction. There is a 50 percent chance it is fantasy.
17. Panel Discussion: 2d4 writers, editors, or scholars discussing a topic related to science fiction, fantasy, or games. There is a 50 percent chance per minute of learning some valuable information.
18. Concert: 1d6 writers and professors performing original music.
19. Party! 3d20 people in a function room eating cake and drinking Canadian beer.
20. Tracks/Aftermath: Roll again to see what you just missed. There is a 50 percent chance you will be drafted to help clean up.

Random Encounters: Monster Island!

No one's exactly sure where Monster Island lies. Those secretive government men in sunglasses made sure it's omitted from the charts. It may be off Siberia, or in the Indian Ocean. It may even be a peninsula. Nobody knows for sure.

What we do know is that it had a thriving native ecosystem of giant creatures, most of them surprisingly aggressive. During the postwar era it became the perfect dumping-ground for invaders from space, radiation-spawned monstrosities, and the work of mad scientists.

Unfortunately the coverup worked a little too well. The people in charge of keeping Monster Island a secret forgot to pass key information to their successors. Only a few people even suspect it exists any more, and none of them know where it is or how to find it.

Which means any island you come across might just be . . . MONSTER ISLAND!

ENCOUNTERS ON MONSTER ISLAND

(Roll 1d20 when exploring or being chased, 1d10 when encamped.)

1. Roll twice and combine
2. Plot Advancing Encounter: Someone or something related to the reason you came to Monster Island — or to getting off of Monster Island again.
3. The Big Guy: The biggest monster on the island, probably trademarked. You know which one I mean. Not even the whole Japanese Self-Defense Force can stop it.
4. Blob Monster: It's a titanic mass of gelatinous flesh, oozing along and consuming everything in its path. You can outrun it — but for how long?
5. Mad Scientist: He's got a string of advanced degrees, a white lab coat, thick goggles, and epic hair. Some or all of the monsters do his bidding. And you're exactly what he needs for his latest project!
6. Storm! For 1d6 hours the island is lashed with high winds and powerful rain. None of the creatures seek shelter — instead the weather seems to make them even more aggressive.
7. Super-Apes: 2d6 Gorillas with human intelligence and a bad attitude. They may serve the Mad Scientist, or they may have rebelled against him as the first step toward conquering all humans.
8. Sylvia Scientist: The brilliant and lovely daughter of the Mad Scientist, she is much more sympathetic. Her own projects are conveniently portable, because she wants more than anything to leave the island.
9. Wicked Weasels: A swarm of fierce, flesh-ripping weasels!
10. Time-Lost Explorers: 1d4 travelers whose routine expedition somehow went awry, stranding them here. They may be from the past, or the future — or possibly they are the future selves of the player-characters!
11. Crab Canyon: It looks safe, until the big white "boulders" start to move and you realize this is where 1d6 Giant Crabs make their home.
12. Crashed Plane: It's a C-130, crashed here some time in the 1970s. The radio doesn't work and the plane will never fly again, but it does provide shelter, the first-aid kit is intact, and the cargo is just what you need right now!
13. Cyclopean Ruins: They're exceedingly ancient, maybe pre-human. The worn carvings show monsters you've already met, but they're fleeing something which isn't shown. There's a big stone door with a complicated seal on it — what's behind it?
14. Giant Spiderweb: This section of jungle is swathed in sticky strands tougher than steel. 2d6 Giant Spiders can sense if you're cutting a path, and will come hungrily to see what's struggling in their web.
15. Log Bridge: The path crosses a deep chasm, and you have a choice. Use the slippery log bridge, which large monsters could knock down into the abyss? Or swing across on vines — one of which is probably a big snake?
16. Non-Euclidian Zone: The geometry of this part of the island is bizarre. Distances are distorted, paths loop through time and space, and it's almost impossible to avoid getting lost.
17. Plesiosaur: The lake looks placid, but a Plesiosaur is lurking under the surface, ready to lash out with its long neck and snatch prey from passing boats.
18. Pursuers: Hungry dinosaurs are chasing you! Roll 1d10 to see what. 1-3: 1d4 Allosauruses, 4-7: 2d6 Velociraptors, 8: Lone Tyrannosaur, 9-10: Flock of 2d6 Pterodactyls*.
19. Volcano Erupts! The traditional sign that it's time to get the heck off the island. If you've only just arrived, this is merely a precursor to the eruption that will sink the place. Perfectly normal, nothing to be concerned about. If you've been chased around already, this is the Big One.
20. Tracks/Aftermath: Roll again to see what you find traces of.

*I know, they're reptiles, not dinosaurs. Sheesh.

WorldCon 76 Report: Day 5

The Monterey Bay Aquarium is a wonderful destination for a day-trip excursion from San Jose.

WorldCon 76 Report: Day 4

Reading back over my WorldCon reports, it occurs to me that I don't seem to be doing much. A couple of panels a day, and mentions of parties, but that's it. The reason is something I had to explain to a friend: "At a con the fans have fun and go to parties. The pros work . . . by going to parties." I've made at least three very useful professional connections at social events during this convention. Now, of course, going to parties is also fun, but a lot of what I've been doing is professional gossip and schmoozing, which isn't very interesting to read about. 

On Sunday the 19th I was a little surprised to discover there wasn't a panel at 10 a.m. that I absolutely had to see. So part of the Crack Team and I found a nice bakery-cafe with sidewalk seating, and had breakfast al fresco while people-watching. 

At 11 I did manage to squeeze into an absolutely packed reading by Jack Clemons from his forthcoming book Safely to Earth, which is a memoir of his time in the Apollo and Space Shuttle programs, and a look at the lives and activities of some of the half-million people involved in the space program who don't get to ride the rockets.

Following that I attended yet another panel on SETI (it's something I'm interested in; don't judge me) called "What Do We Do When We Find Them?" There was some interesting discussion — one of the participants pointed out that our reactions will likely be very different depending on whether we pick up signs of some other civilization's activities, a signal sent to us, or a physical artifact. Guy Consolmagno, the Vatican astronomer, was a delight as always. (When is the Vatican City going to put in a WorldCon bid? VatiCon, anyone?)

We had dinner with friends in San Jose, and so skipped out on the Hugo ceremonies, but we did make it back to take a turn through the surprisingly subdued post-Hugo room parties in the Fairmont Hotel. And so to bed, as Samuel Pepys would say. 

Congratulations to this year's Hugo winners:

Best Novel: The Stone Sky, by N.K. Jemisin

Best Novella: All Systems Red, by Martha Wells

Best Novelette: "The Secret Life of Bots," by Suzanne Palmer

Best Short Story: "Welcome to Your Authentic Indian Experience," by Rebecca Roanhorse

Best Series: World of the Five Gods, by Lois McMaster Bujold

Best Related Work: No Time to Spare, by Ursula K. LeGuin

Best Graphic Story: Monstress vol. 2, by Marjorie Liu and Sana Takeda

Best Movie*: Wonder Woman, from Warner Studios

Best TV Show: The Good Place, "The Trolley Problem," by Josh Siegel and Dylan Morgan

Best Short Story Editor: Lynne Thomas and Michael Thomas

Best Book Editor: Sheila Gilbert

Best Professional Artist: Sana Takeda

Best Semiprozine: Uncanny, edited by Lynne and Michael Thomas

Best Fanzine: File 770, edited by Mike Glyer

Best Podcast: Ditch Diggers, by Mur Lafferty and Matt Wallace

Best Fan Writer: Sarah Gailey

Best Fan Artist: Geneva Benton

John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer: Rebecca Roanhorse

*Note: until an opera or a radio play wins one of the "Dramatic Presentation" awards, I'm just calling them what they are instead of using the ungainly official names.

 

 

WorldCon 76 Report: Day 3

Saturday I rose relatively early and had a swim in the hotel pool. Staying at a hotel with a pool makes one feel about three times healthier than otherwise. No back problems from an unfamiliar bed, which means better sleep, which means one isn't living on caffeinated sodas to stay focused.

Anyway. Once again the first panels of the day were among the most interesting. I began with "Research Rabbit Holes," about excessive research or bizarre digressions in researching stories. I'm a bit prone to that sort of thing myself, so it was good to see that people like Andy Duncan, Karen Joy Fowler, and Lawrence Schoen do it too. 

Immediately afterward in the same room was a presentation on "What's New From SETI?" — to which the answer was "Not much, or you'd have already heard about it in the newspapers." I knew that going in, of course; nobody announces major scientific results at a science fiction convention.

At noon I took my station in the Autographing Area and signed a bunch of books. I was mildly surprised that no magazine collectors stopped by with copies of F&SF for me to deface, as this is the first time I've been in California. Every signee got a promotional card for Arkad's World. I signed for an hour (well, I signed for about twenty minutes with plenty of time to chat) and then went in search of lunch.

This meant I accidentally ran across the Big Controversial Protest. It consisted of about two dozen demonstrators, an equal number of counter-demonstrators, and a number of police equal to both groups combined. Without getting into the specific issues involved, I have to say both groups were terrible about "optics" and message discipline. The demonstrators were at least sensible enough to bring American flags and dress like normal people, but their signs and slogans boiled down to "WorldCon is full of pedophiles and they won't allow us in!" Across the plaza their adversaries looked like scary terrorists and were opposing fascism by denouncing the United States and screaming insults at the cops.

Proportion of convention-goers not involved in any way: 99%.

Proportion of San Jose residents unaware of what was going on: 99.999%

Proportion of passers-by who understood what any of this was about: 0%.

Anyway. After lunch I attended an extremely good panel on Alien Minds, with neuroscience people and philosophers discussing how aliens might understand the universe and what obstacles there are likely to be in communication. The audience questions at the end were surprisingly good and incisive.

I followed that up with yet another panel on SETI, this time on the impact of recent exoplanetary discoveries on the search for life in the Universe. The short version is that we have a pretty good estimate of how many stars have planetary systems (nearly all) and what proportion of those planets are in the liquid-water zones of their host stars. SF author David Brin pointed out something I've already noted here: it's increasingly likely that we're the first. A lot of potentially lifebearing worlds may be covered by icecaps, or too massive to leave easily, or lacking in any dry land, or otherwise unsuitable for a technological civilization.

That wrapped up the official part of the convention. The grownup fraction of the Crack Team spent the rest of the evening visiting the Locus 50th Anniversary party, stopping in at the SFWA Suite, and schmoozing with editors in the hotel bar. Back to our own room at about midnight, because we're getting a little old to party until dawn.

 

WorldCon 76 Report: Day 2

On Friday the 17th I dressed in my frankly magnificent Professional Author costume and plunged into the convention. All the really interesting panels seem to be first thing in the morning, so I went to one on constructing alternate histories, called "If This, Then What?" After that I took a pass through the dealer room and came across Colonel Professor Doctor Brett Cox showing off his new book, which I immediately purchased and got him to sign.

At noon I did my own panel for this convention, "The Culinary Speculative: Food in Fiction." We talked about how food can be an important symbol in stories — though sadly nobody shared any recipes.

After that I met a friend for lunch and then spent the afternoon wandering about the convention. Because most of the panels are very well-attended, it's difficult to just drop into one after it starts, as there's no place to sit. 

At the end of the day I watched the panel on "Not Hugo-Nominated Novels You Should Read," and then joined some fellow writers and scientists for dinner at a Chinese place nearby. After that we attended a party hosted by Tor Books at the Hilton hotel, and finished the evening by cruising the room parties in the Fairmont Hotel.

Thoroughly tired and a little unsteady, we retired to the room and told the rest of the Crack Team to quit playing computer games and go to bed.

 

 

   

WorldCon 76 Report: Day 1

The Crack Team were already ensconced in the Marriott hotel in downtown San Jose before this year's World Science Fiction Convention even began. We began the day with an expedition to the amazing Winchester Mystery House. We got both the basic tour (90 minutes of hiking around the biggest house in America) and the extended tour (another hour spent in the cellars, parts of the house damaged in the 1906 earthquake, and a bit too much nonsense about ghosts). Definitely a must-see, if you're in San Jose. Biggest mystery: how a house with walls covered in wood-pulp-and-linseed-oil sculpted wallpaper hasn't gone up in the world's biggest house fire. Seriously, that's like decorating with napalm.

The convention itself began at noon. The Crack Team donned our badges and headed into the mammoth convention center. Checked out the history exhibits and the tables for future WorldCon bids. Attended a panel discussion on "Tomorrow Through the Past" about using history as the model for science fiction societies and stories. Hung out with panelists Jo Walton and Ada Palmer afterward, then spent the rest of the evening at dinner with a dozen fellow Baen Books authors, editors, and artists.

Thoroughly stuffed, the Crack Team staggered back to our room to write a quick 'blog post before collapsing. Tomorrow: talking about food, and probably some parties. 

 

Where to Find Me at WorldCon 76

This coming week the 76th World Science Fiction Convention will be held in hazy San Jose, California, and I'll be one of the participants. If you want to see me, here are my scheduled appearances:

THE CULINARY SPECULATIVE: Food in Fiction (Friday, August 17, 12:00 noon in room 210C of the San Jose Convention Center). Join me, moderator Nibedita Sen, Kat Tanaka Okopnik, Rose Lemberg, and Hector Gonzalez in a discussion about food in science fiction and fantasy. 

AUTOGRAPHING (Saturday, August 18, 12:00 noon in the Autographing Area of the Convention Center). I'll have my signing pens, so bring anything you want me to deface.

Those are my only "official" appearances, but you can also find me wandering about the con all week. I'll be passing out bookmarks and postcards with a first sneak peek at the cover art for my upcoming novel Arkad's World! 

 

More Bad Flags

This time it's not me griping about flags, it's a gentleman with the incredibly badass name Roman Mars. The scarlet-faced avenger gave a TED talk about flag design, highlighting some of America's best and worst city flags. 

He properly cited Chicago's flag as one of the best, and derided New York City's as lackluster. He missed New Orleans's excellent flag, but that might simply be provincial ignorance. It's interesting to see that at least two of the towns he cited for bad designs actually came up with better ones shortly after his talk.

However, the war god did make one inexcusable error: in a talk about awful city flags he somehow neglected to mention the gynecological hilarity of Toronto's city flag. Behold, and snicker.

Random Encounters: On the Fantastickal Moon

We know what you'll find on the Moon if you get there via a Saturn rocket and Apollo Program Lunar Module lander. But what if  you sail to the Moon aboard an elven galleon or step there through an enchanted silver door?

ENCOUNTERS ON THE FANTASTICKAL MOON

(Roll 1d20 when roving about the Lunar surface, 1d10 when stationary.)

1. Roll Twice and Combine
2. Plot-Advancing Encounter: Someone or something connected with whatever mission brought you to the Moon in the first place.
3. Bat-Men: 2d6 slender, hairy humanoids who fly by means of a membrane stretching from feet to wrists. They are armed only with claws and small stones they drop with great accuracy. Bat-men are curious, mischievous, and greedy, but their fragile bones make them flee any armed foes.
4. Fog: Dense fog lasting 1d4 hours (during the day) or until dawn (at night). You can't see more than a dozen feet in any direction.
5. Giant Hounds: A pack of 2d6 white hounds as tall as a man. During the day they scavenge and are quite friendly; at night they hunt and pursue anything they encounter.
6. Giant Moth: A moth with a 20-foot wingspan, looking for a suitable incubator for her eggs. If she scores a hit with her ovipositor, next Lunar dawn a brood of giant caterpillars hatch within her victim.
7. Lunar Elves: 1d6 Small and silver-haired elves armed with bows and sabers; during the day they are noble and benevolent, but when darkness falls they become cunning and evil.
8. Lycanthrope: During the day he takes the form of a giant black wolf. At night he reverts to human form.
9. Mooncalfs: 1d6 ugly, translucent-skinned quadrupeds about the size of a horse. They are harmless, but if threatened they give off a hypnotic cry which puts other creatures to sleep.
10. Rival Explorers: 1d8 visitors from Earth whose goals conflict with yours. They'll do anything to keep you from getting back before they do.
11. Cheese Mine: an open-pit mine worked by 1d8 dwarves with sharpened spades. The dwarves are protective of their claim, but have plenty of cheese to spare and will eagerly trade for wine and crackers.
12. Dust Pool: You stumble into a deep pool of fine grayish dust, too light to swim in and too dense to breathe. What's worse is that there's a giant Dust Worm at the bottom of the pool, coming to eat you up.
13. Enormous Mushrooms: They only open during the Lunar day, and send out clouds of hallucinogenic spores.
14. Giant Caterpillar: The last stage of life before it transforms into a moth, this caterpillar is the size of a bus. It rears out of the hole where it has been eating cheese and growing for years, hungry for protein.
15. Pathway into the Dreamlands: If you think this place is weird, you haven't seen anything.
16. Ruin: Huge shattered crystal domes and towers, built by the ancestors of the underground Lunarians, inscribed with their ancient runes.
17. Seashore: The black waters of a Lunar sea stretch before you. You can continue travel along the shore, or improvise a boat and take to the strangely calm sea.
18. Temple of Hecate: A vast pillared hall where 1d100 witches come to worship their dread goddess. Non-worshippers are sacrificed if they can't get away in time.
19. Tunnel Entrance: An opening into the caves of the insectile and telepathic Lunarians, who are perpetually on the verge of starvation and envy Earth's abundance.
20. Tracks/Aftermath: Reroll to see what you just missed.

SITUATIONS ON THE FANTASTICKAL MOON

1. A desires B
2. A wants to capture B
3. A wants B dead
4. A wants to go somewhere
5. A wants to solve a mystery
6. A wants X

If you're interested in stories which don't take place on the Moon, check out my ebooks Outlaws and Aliens and Monster Island Tales!